Archive for sexual assault

10 Questions with Erin Weed

Posted in 10 Questions, Crime, Self-Defense, Violence with tags , , , , , , , on April 20, 2013 by Combative Corner

CombativeCorner Erin Weed

With April being Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention month, we’ve enlisted the help of two amazing females: Erin Weed of Girls Fight Back and Eve Torres of the Gracie’s Women Empowered Program.  Please pass these interviews on via Facebook, Twitter or other social media outlets.  Thank you. 

Interview with Erin Weed of Girls Fight Back

Tell us briefly how you became the teacher and lecturer you are today?

I got certified to teach self-defense shortly after my friend from college was murdered, and created a self-defense educational seminar to connect with young women in high school and college. It’s borderline stand-up comedy, instead of scaring the be-jesus out of them!

After you decided to start, Girls Fight Back, what steps did you go through to get “the ball rolling”?

First step was getting certified in a few different self-defense systems. Next it was teaching the content in a small class setting, followed by creating the GFB seminar and branding it. Then it was a matter of just doing it! I spoke for free at first, but after a bit reached out to a speakers bureau to help with getting paid for the engagements, and actually making it my living. After 8 years of speaking and living on airplanes, I trained a team of speakers in the USA – then one in Pakistan and India – to give the presentation as well. I believe our ideas and our content should be scalable to reach more people.

In your opinion, what is the best way to “light the fire” of awareness to rape, assault, abuse etc?

Frankly, I think people teaching any sort of tough issue like violence need to understand marketing and how to connect with their audience. Meaning, you try to match the tone and content you’re delivering for the people you are trying to connect with. So if you’re talking to corporate women about rape, then really understand – what are their fears, their concerns and the crimes most likely to be committed against them? And on the flip side, how do they WANT to feel? (Note: This is the opposite of how most self-defense programs market themselves. They use fear as their marketing, which is a big mistake when people really WANT to feel at ease! Do you buy toothpaste because it uses the fear of tooth decay as their strategy? Probably not – you buy the Crest brand that only uses pictures of sparkly, white, desirable teeth.) Once you really know your audience, meet them where they are by motivating in a way that doesn’t cause resistance.

In teaching self-defense, what’s one essential lesson you hope all your students walk out with?

To believe in themselves and what they are capable of. I know some teachers call this “false confidence” but I think without confidence (fake or not!), any self-defense skills a woman has will be useless because she won’t have the conviction to execute. Many women and girls struggle with permission in all areas of their lives. If a teacher gives them permission to fight, and permission to believe they are worth fighting for – well that’s when the success stories start rolling in.

Is there one specific technique that you wish all women knew? What is it and why?

If all women trusted their intuition the moment it spoke to them, I think our statistics would plummet. Once it gets physical, the attack is on – and I’d always rather we use techniques that aren’t physical if possible. The challenge for teachers is to really teach intuition is a hardcore skill, and not just skim over it because it’s more fun to teach eye jabs.

As someone well-studied under Gavin de Becker, how must we view Fear?

This answer is probably not surprising with Gavin and his staff as some of our biggest advisors and mentors – View fear as a gift! Many people fear their fear, because if fear is present, something “bad” is probably happening. I think by teaching self-defense, we’re also helping people imagine the worst – thereby liberating them from the paralysis that can occur when the worst actually becomes reality.

With this understanding of Fear, how can we diminish, exercise, control and/or channel this Fear?

Immediate acceptance is key. Instead of fearing fear, or resisting/denying fear (and the situation that caused it) just saying to oneself: “OK. This is happening. I know what to do.” Keeping our responses as simple as owning the experience, staying present and having confidence is the best way to go.

It is common to hear a self-defense instructor say,

“Run from danger, but if you can’t Fight.”

Easier said than done. How do you teach the process of “Action”… of “Fighting Back” into your students?

I teach with options, but no judgement. I call this teaching format “the slippery slope.” Really take them on a journey, step by little step, that violent acts actually happen. (Example: OK, you got a weird feeling about this guy, here’s some options. OK, now that guy starts following you, so here’s some options. Trust yourself. OK, now that guy is full-on chasing you, so here’s some options. Trust yourself.) This helps them ease into the scariness of these situations, which aids in not triggering or paralyzing people. Tiny bits of simple is better than overwhelming amounts of awesome. But it also gives people the chance to thwart a situation before it’s a full-blown assault by seeing the signs were the situation is going long beforehand.

What are your views on weapon training? Do you instruct your students to ever engage or “Fight Back” when someone is holding a knife, gun or club?

I tell people to follow their intuition, and to get training in weapons defense. I think it’s a skill everyone should know, and refrain from giving “cookie cutter” advice. I personally have done a lot of weapons training, and I’m so glad I have those skills. I don’t personally teach that content in GFB seminars (because we don’t have the proper time or venue), but I always encourage our audience learn more. Options and knowledge are power.

What does Erin enjoy doing when she’s not “working”

Hot yoga, any outdoorsy activity in Colorado and roller derby!

Bonus:

What is just one of your goals in the next 5 years? (This can be ANYTHING!)

We will soon be announcing a train-the-trainer program, so anyone in the world can teach Girls Fight Back content to audiences as a public speaker. I’m really excited to share our approach with more self-defense teachers that would like to do more public speaking as an income source, or just another way to impact women. If your readers are interested, they can sign up to receive notification when it’s officially announced here:

http://bit.ly/L9sCge

Thank you Erin!

For more information on Erin Weed, do so by visiting her website at GirlsFightBack.Com.

Twitter Link CC bFB Facebook Link CC b

Out-Foxxed Is On The Way

Posted in News, Products, Self-Defense with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 1, 2012 by chencenter

New Self-Defense Book

It has been one of my loftiest goals, and one that will be reached (hopefully) by Winter 2012.  As there are many self-defense books on the market, there isn’t a thorough text on Women’s Self-Defense in particular.  That has been my specialty for some time now and I’m halfway through the writing phase.  Over the summer months I hope to complete and edit- and in the Fall, put the finishing touches on it.

Not only for women, this book (some 250-300 pages) will serve as a resourceful manual for men wishing to train their wives, girlfriends, daughters, etc.

The purpose of this book is to empower women, dispel many of the myths that persist in the self-protection world, and give them the tools to make better decisions regarding their own and their loved one’s safety.

A secondary bonus

resulting from the purchase of this book will be that for every 5 paperback or hardbacks sold, I will give a copy away to someone or some place (i.e. Women’s Shelter, etc) that will benefit.  50% of all digital download sales will go to RAINN.org.

Please keep the following website handy (http://GTSbook.info) and start spreading the word about this upcoming book.

Excerpts will begin within the upcoming months. 

You can also follow the book on Twitter @GTSbook

Michael Joyce

Golden Thread Workshops

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Why Women Don’t Learn Self-Defense (But Should!)

Posted in Day's Lesson, Discussion Question, Self-Defense, Teaching Topic, Training, Violence with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 2, 2012 by chencenter

Women’s self-defense, as we can all admit, is an important subject. But unless you are a celebrity instructor, have an amazing marketing team or wide access to women with a lot of time on their hands, chances are, you’ll have only a small-to-moderate turnout.

We’ve all heard and read the statistics; it’s uncomfortable to hear and imagine.  We shrug our shoulders and hope that it doesn’t happen to us.  We watch a program on the news, but as soon as you feel something the newscaster switches to another catastrophe, another piece of “breaking news.”

The Truth is…

We know what’s good for us.  We know that we should eat our veggies, brush our teeth… but what many don’t tell you (especially if you are a woman) is that you have a 1-in-4 chance of being raped or sexually assaulted in your lifetime.  Just think about the fact that even if it isn’t happening to you, it is likely happening to someone you know/knew and care/cared about.

If you acknowledge one thing (man or woman)….

You must acknowledge that you can become a target and crimes such as: bullying, domestic violence, sexual assault & rape can happen to anyone!

Even though every woman has thought about this at some point in their life, many are still not taking the necessary steps of prevention.  And just to make this clear – I’m not saying that learning self-defense is the definitive answer, but it is one of the best methods we have on this complex subject.  Taking classes with someone who understands not just the physical side of dealing with a would-be attacker, but placing enough emphasis on the physiological side – quick decision-making; when to run/escape, when to feint compliance (if necessary) and when to fight back, is of monumental importance.

“Violence is like treading water in a typhoon.  Most of the time, the typhoon is short-lived.  But if you don’t even know how to swim, you’re lost.”

But why do women neglect to train if the stakes are this high? …

  • Many have grown up with negative associations. Things like: age, size, weight, fitness level, their level of comfort, body image, etc., play into their thoughts about their ability in class and their potential to fend off/escape/subdue an opponent in a real situation.
  • Violence being done to you or a loved one is a terrible thought.  It’s easier to “put off” or go into denial that violence will happen to you.
  • Some women are not comfortable taking lessons from or with men.  [This behavior makes it not only more difficult to get them to class and learn, but more susceptible to victimization]
  • Many women (many whom I’ve met personally) don’t believe there is even a solution.  They feel they are and always will be incapable.
  • Some women have been victims themselves and a class will conjure horrible memories of the fear and hopelessness they once felt.
  • Some women may feel that fighting and learning to fight is “something men do” – It’s not “lady-like.”
  • Women (like many men) work hard during the day, and don’t feel like they have the TIME. [we make time for what is important]
  • They are or feel as if they are strapped financially.

Of all things…

Of all things, don’t let time or money be a factor.  There are some amazing, yet affordable programs out there (as well as products*).  And as far as TIME is concerned – like I said, we make time for what is important.  If we choose not to, well… that’s just plain foolish.

Michael Joyce

Golden Thread Workshops

RELATED ARTICLES

The Cycle of Behavior Tony Blauer

Ten Titles for Women Learning Self-DefenseMichael Joyce

Sexual Assault Prevention (+Video Clip)Gracie, Kennedy, Joyce

Gracie’s Women Empowered Course *

Luke Holloway Comments on Straw Dogs

Posted in Discussion Question, Safety, Self-Defense, Videos with tags , , , , , , , on January 30, 2012 by Combative Corner

[note to video viewer: Language]

Luke Holloway, owner of Raw-Combat International, and training provider for security, police, military and and civilians, gives us his input on our previous assault scenario based on the recent re-make of Straw Dogs (video here).  To those that missed our original article, please visit it first.  Sexual Assault Discussion – Straw Dogs [2012]

Luke Holloway

Raw Combat Int.

Sexual Assault Prevention | Straw Dogs [2011]

Posted in Discussion Question, Safety, Self-Defense, Teaching Topic, Videos, Violence with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 10, 2012 by Combative Corner

Every so often a film comes around, like this remake of Sam Peckinpah’s 1971 film Straw Dogs, where the viewer witnesses a scene (of which the above clip is just a short sample of) that not only creates a great deal of uneasiness, but of shock and fear.

The Combative Corner would like to thank, Rener Gracie for responding promptly to our request for feedback.  As many of you know, Rener  just recently produced the dvd training series, Women Empowered.  T.J. Kennedy is a self-defense instructor, contributing writer and founder/head instructor of Hybrid Fighting Method Global.  Michael Joyce is also a self-defense instructor, founder/head writer for the Combative Corner and head instructor of the Outfoxxed Program (specializing in Women’s Safety).

RENER GRACIE : WOMEN EMPOWERED

1. Close the door, lock it, and call the police.
2. If he gets in, get out of the house and get help.
3. If he pins you and you can’t get away, feign compliance and then use the Triangle Choke (Lesson 10, Giant Killer Variation) to render him unconscious with your legs when the opportunity arises.

Overall, remaining calm, feigning compliance, saving energy and looking for the best window of escape will catch him off guard and give the best chance of success.

Most Common Mistake: Trying to use violent strikes to incapacitate him which will only burn energy and make him angrier. (click here)

T.J. KENNEDY : HFM GLOBAL

In my opinion, Kate’s character could have had a chance. I have never been in this particular type of situation, but I can say with confidence that she likely had a lot of fear to work through – which makes any physical task difficult.

The only real chance I see for her here is to cause some heavy trauma to high value targets (eg. knee to groin), maybe even using objects around her as improvised weapons (eg. the glass dish on the coffee table to his face). She may have been able to flee to another room (adjacent kitchen) to get more “fatal” implements such as a knife or scissors.

And then running, and if there was a functional vehicle outside to leave ASAP to either her husband or the authorities.

MICHAEL JOYCEOUTFOXXED PROGRAM

The situation presented above is a frightening one and similar to what many women envision.  When I ask my students to imagine this and play the scenario out in their head you can see a lot of things change: their posture, the way they breath, etc.

The first step is to prepare.  Women should seek a self-defense class that teaches realistic and practical means of avoidance, escape and defense… and moreso, they need to continue to hone these skills.  Secondly, beyond the knowledge & skillset that you may acquire in a class, men and women both should mentally prepare.  Do run-throughs of various scenarios whereby you enact your gameplan smoothly and successfully.  Don’t superimpose yourself in the role that Kate is playing, superimpose yourself in the actions that Kate should have been making.

But let’s say she didn’t do any of the above.  When her assailant braces the door with his foot, it is imperative that she braces with her foot as well (barefoot or not).  If there is a wall, pillar or something heavy that she can post against (to leverage her strength), you should always use it.  If the scenario then plays out that he tries to batter the door down with force, a well-timed opening of the door will have your opponent either off-balance or falling through the doorway, (possibly) leaving you a chance for escape.  I concur with T.J. about the knee to the groin (when he’s in close range), but she would either need to follow-up fast with an improvised weapon, run to a safe location (seek authorities), or finish the fight.  Still risky, especially as terrified and under-confident as she is in the film.

There are no guarantees, but the woman (or training student) must use her own judgement, be decisive and use 100% determination.  Rener is correct in saying that in situations of this nature, when you are going up against bigger, stronger opponents feigning compliance may open a larger window of opportunity than if you struggle and deplete your energy stores.  A well-executed triangle choke with the legs is a fair-good bet.  [future article on this later]  You should be confident in your technique however, which always boils down to training!  Keep training, and stay safe everyone!

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