“Violence is Never a Choice a Man Should Make” – Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart gives a gripping and personal answer to a fan at Comicpalooza 2013.  Be forewarned, there’s a moment (2:40) that may bring you to tears.

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Why Women Don’t Learn Self-Defense (But Should!)

Women’s self-defense, as we can all admit, is an important subject. But unless you are a celebrity instructor, have an amazing marketing team or wide access to women with a lot of time on their hands, chances are, you’ll have only a small-to-moderate turnout.

We’ve all heard and read the statistics; it’s uncomfortable to hear and imagine.  We shrug our shoulders and hope that it doesn’t happen to us.  We watch a program on the news, but as soon as you feel something the newscaster switches to another catastrophe, another piece of “breaking news.”

The Truth is…

We know what’s good for us.  We know that we should eat our veggies, brush our teeth… but what many don’t tell you (especially if you are a woman) is that you have a 1-in-4 chance of being raped or sexually assaulted in your lifetime.  Just think about the fact that even if it isn’t happening to you, it is likely happening to someone you know/knew and care/cared about.

If you acknowledge one thing (man or woman)….

You must acknowledge that you can become a target and crimes such as: bullying, domestic violence, sexual assault & rape can happen to anyone!

Even though every woman has thought about this at some point in their life, many are still not taking the necessary steps of prevention.  And just to make this clear – I’m not saying that learning self-defense is the definitive answer, but it is one of the best methods we have on this complex subject.  Taking classes with someone who understands not just the physical side of dealing with a would-be attacker, but placing enough emphasis on the physiological side – quick decision-making; when to run/escape, when to feint compliance (if necessary) and when to fight back, is of monumental importance.

“Violence is like treading water in a typhoon.  Most of the time, the typhoon is short-lived.  But if you don’t even know how to swim, you’re lost.”

But why do women neglect to train if the stakes are this high? …

• Many have grown up with negative associations. Things like: age, size, weight, fitness level, their level of comfort, body image, etc., play into their thoughts about their ability in class and their potential to fend off/escape/subdue an opponent in a real situation.
• Violence being done to you or a loved one is a terrible thought.  It’s easier to “put off” or go into denial that violence will happen to you.
• Some women are not comfortable taking lessons from or with men.  [This behavior makes it not only more difficult to get them to class and learn, but more susceptible to victimization]
• Many women (many whom I’ve met personally) don’t believe there is even a solution.  They feel they are and always will be incapable.
• Some women have been victims themselves and a class will conjure horrible memories of the fear and hopelessness they once felt.
• Some women may feel that fighting and learning to fight is “something men do” – It’s not “lady-like.”
• Women (like many men) work hard during the day, and don’t feel like they have the TIME. [we make time for what is important]
• They are or feel as if they are strapped financially.

Of all things…

Of all things, don’t let time or money be a factor.  There are some amazing, yet affordable programs out there (as well as products*).  And as far as TIME is concerned – like I said, we make time for what is important.  If we choose not to, well… that’s just plain foolish.

– Michael Joyce

Golden Thread Workshops

RELATED ARTICLES

The Cycle of Behavior – Tony Blauer

Ten Titles for Women Learning Self-Defense – Michael Joyce

Sexual Assault Prevention (+Video Clip) – Gracie, Kennedy, Joyce

Gracie’s Women Empowered Course *

Improving Self-Defense, Add Violence

The highest concern for me as a self-defense instructor is to properly facilitate and encourage (by way of writing, coaching, lecturing, etc) practical, safe and effective training methods; period!  Not ones that effect a person superficially, but ones that cut deep to the marrow of reality; the very real world in which we live.  To be honest, we (for the most part) live in harmony.  We go to work, we come home to our family, or we go out to dinner with friends.  Most people don’t even concern themselves with the very real possibility that a vicious assault lays just around the corner.

We all lack confidence, just in varying degrees.

As we “free climb” upwards from where we currently are [self-protection readiness] we must have a strong and sturdy grip [abililty] to change our state to one of: high intensity, strong-willed, 100% determined.  Our foothold to this climb is our confidence.

Believe me or not…it does not matter.  Somewhere within that skull of yours you understand that in order to effectively conquer a violent aggressor, the modern man or woman must find it within themselves to not only reciprocate the violence being done to them, but to break rules, to go against (in most cases) their religious/social/cultural beliefs.  What is right?  What amount of violence is right, if any?  At what cost?  What must be at stake for us to act in such a way?  All of these (and more) are important questions to ask yourself.

Most people (including myself) have a natural aversion to violence.

As a kid I trained in the martial arts so that I wouldn’t have to win through violence.  Everything was properly planned out, and when needed, I would respond with the same energy, skill and grace that my heros displayed on television and film.  I would always be in the moral right.  I would always be merciful.  I would always beat them with a calm, collected mind.  And I would walk away from battle without a scrape or bruise.  The sorry chap would never seek revenge or vendetta because of the fear of being humiliated twice over.

Luckily, I grew into a man.  And although I can still hold a smile to my “invincible youth,” I can easily decipher fantasy from reality.  Reality comes into play when play is wild and spontaneous.  Training for real world violence, therefore, should be conducted with as much zestful aggression as one wishes to have in the moment.  Punching a bag for the sake of punching amounts to very little.  It’s as if you were trying to drink up a lake with a fork.

I leave you with this question…

When violence becomes necessary… by this, I mean, when there is no other recourse but to fight for your survival, how might we know if we have what it takes?

My belief is that it rests on two key components: how you change your entire physiology to aid in your survival, and how we build our confidence through proper, situational, and realistic training methods.

Many martial artists insist on fighting fire with water.  But I strongly believe, and it is essential to know, that there are times when you must fight fire with fire!

¤

Please give your thoughts below.  Let me know if you disagree, and/or if you have something to add.

Michael Joyce

His Combative Profile

»»» click the picture above to visit a short interview of Coach Joyce in this month’s Skirt Magazine (Jan. 2011).